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Reasons Why Kids Are The Worst

“Have kids!” they said. “It’ll be fun!” they said. Yea, about that….. I have two kids, ages 2 (we’ll call her Sally) and 15 (we’ll call him Sam.) Both of them were oops babies, but both were welcomed with open arms and have been my world since day one! I would give my right arm for these two, and definitely break a neck if someone messed with them! But let’s be honest here, these ravenous monsters often get on our last nerve and push us to our utmost limits! The joke has been on me since day one lol! Here are some reasons why kids are the worst!

#1 They’re Lazy. And Dirty.

Walking through the mall a few days ago, we go to the eatery to get some food. I had Sally connected to a backpack restraint leash and Sam is drooling over food right next to me. Well….. things got too quiet. I look next me and this lovely little monster has decided to lay down- ON THE EATERY FLOOR- WHERE THOUSANDS OF DIRTY SHOES WALK!! I couldn’t believe it. I threw my credit card to Sam and rushed the baby to to washroom to clean her up. I have never scrubbed skin so effectively before that! (Yes, I may be a bit OCD lol)

#2 They Smell Funky

I don’t care where it is, in my house, car, or in public that I am, I swear the funkiness is just stuck in my nose! I’m constantly taking a whiff of dirty diaper, smelly breath, crusty under pants, or shoe grub. I’m not even joking. I make these two bathe everyday and still yet it lingers in my nose. I’m sure that the air freshener companies love me by now!

#3 They Whine. Constantly.

I thought Sam would’ve grown out of whining and screaming by now, but contrary to my belief, it has only gotten worse! It seems that the more and louder the baby gets, the more jealous he gets and tries to exceed the volume. And then they start whining to me about one another’s whining. It’s ridiculous. It’s sad that human muzzles would be inhumane and illegal to use!

#4 You Have to Teach Them Everything
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Why is this the worst?? Not because I have to take the time out of the day to teach them. I actually delve into that and love it! (I used to be an elementary school teacher.) But because these two just don’t get it! I’m exhausted! Washing the dishes is a no brainer, but conveniently my boy surely doesn’t remember how to scrub that dried on ranch off of that plate! Every time! Or when asking to clean up the floor full of toys, Sally looks at me like I’m speaking chinese! Every time! I know these kids are smarter than this!

#5 I’m required to bring a 33 lb suitcase every time we leave the house.

From diapers, to wipes, a bottle, a sippy cup, some snacks for both kids, 10 changes of clothes, a tablet computer, a book, a bottle of soda, his phone and ear buds. That’s insane!! My back hurts!!

#6 Understanding Them is A Challenge

They’re screaming ALL. THE. TIME. At one another, at me, when crying, when they’re excited, when they’re angry. Plus Sally is still learning to talk properly. I’ve developed a whole ‘nother language that I’m positive I can market and become a millionaire with!

Truthfully though, these two little hellians are my world. I would give them anything to make sure they are happy and healthy! No matter how crazy they make me, I love them. I would be no one today without them! I keep my serenity in check FOR THEM. 😘✌

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66 thoughts on “Reasons Why Kids Are The Worst

  1. LOL! I don’t have kids, but I agree with everything you wrote. They are so wonderful, but can irritate me to my last nerve! Good post! =)

    1. Thank you!!

  2. Hehe, this is a funny read! My mom would probably say the same about us kids. We’ve definitely driven her nuts far too many times, but (I think) she wouldn’t give us up for anything.

    1. I truly believe that mothers are the most forgiving people on this planet! Lol

  3. Haha! This is hilarious! And a very REAL look at the reality. Thanks!

  4. what a brilliant and funny read! I don’t have kids but I have a niece and all what you wrote is so true lol!! Especially the bit about smelling funky for sure!

  5. Haha funny post! I don’t have kids, but I am a teacher so I can relate. πŸ˜‰

  6. Lolol, you funny thing! No, but really, kids are mongrels πŸ˜‰

  7. I should say this is quite an entertaining post. Every time someone asks me the question, why I don’t have kids, I should point them towards this post.

  8. This is too funny πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ all this and more

  9. As a mom of 6 I can sure appreciate this! LOL As much as I love my kids….they can sure work my nerves! What a fun post!

  10. This is so true. Yet I still want another one.

  11. This is so true on every level we have just had to deal with a crying sick 4 year old, it wasn’t fun.

  12. So funny – and true ☺️

    1. Lol so many stories to tell!

  13. What a great humorous post. I don’t have children, but have had foster children. I totally appreciate the challenges and I love the humour you bring to it, all the while showing just how much you love your two. πŸ™‚

    1. Thank you so much! They’re my world for sure!

  14. This is a funny read, haha! I don’t have kids, but I want them. Always good to hear the real stories.

    1. Lol they’re always such messy stories! But trust me, your life will change and it will be a welcoming change πŸ˜‰

  15. I needed this laugh! They are all that and then some but wouldn’t trade them for the world!

    1. Never more true words spoken!! πŸ˜‚ We love them though!

  16. I don’t have kids yet but definitely this was a fun read!

  17. Hahahaha! This was just the funny read I needed. 7 days before baby arrives… I wonder… How will this baby be different than my first. I’m sure they’re going to team up on me once they’re about the same age. AAahhhhhh parenthood lol.

    1. Congratulations on your new baby!! Lol even though it may irritate you when they do gang up on you, years later you will appreciate that! πŸ˜‰

  18. This made me giggle several times. I love my little humans, more than I could ever imagine. But, this is so true. This is the reality some days and that’s ok, as mother’s it should be ok to admit!

    1. I really wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world, they have made life that much more enjoyable! I know you can relate πŸ˜‰

  19. haha seeing everyones perspective on children is always a hilarious experience. I’m not a mom but i am a proud aunt to 2 crazy little kiddos.

    1. Lol! Being an aunt is great because you can spoil the heck outta those children and then pass them off back home!

  20. Oh my gosh! I cracked up! This is so true. I can definitely relate!

    1. I know all mamas, sisters, friends, aunts, or whomever could relate! Thank you!

  21. LMAO!! this post was hilarious!! This is how I feel about all of my friends kids despite how much I love them lol. This gave me a great laugh!! Thanks!

    1. That’s what I’m here for! Lol . I hoped that everyone would be able to relate somehow! Glad you enjoyed it!

  22. This is hilarious and makes me grateful I get to be the cool Aunt instead of the mom. I do feel like I still pack a 30lb bag when I leave the house…i.e. my purse lol

    1. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ The purse is worse than an extra bag! Aunts are great… You get to love those babies and spoil them all you want and then pass them off home! πŸ˜‰

  23. I think my ovaries just dried up from reading this! Lol-loved it though πŸ€—

    1. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I just died reading that! That was probably the best comment yet….. you’re welcome! Lol

  24. This is hilarious. And I’m definitely waiting to have kids! Haha

    1. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚good thinking!

  25. LOL this is hilarious. I don’t see myself having kids in the near future lol.

    1. Lol with people like me continuing to put up these crazy stories about kids, you may never have any! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  26. This is such a funny and refreshing read! I have a 12 year-old and can totally relate to most of this article. Reassuring to know it’s not just me! πŸ˜‰

    1. Lol definitely not! It’s all more common than we think! πŸ˜‚

  27. This is hilarious! I don’t have kids yet, but I can definitely see all of these being true!

  28. I don’t have kids, but I bet that 33lb suitcase is no joke! I’m a preparer and worrier so I always overpack everything for just in case events lol

  29. LOL what a fun article to read. It makes me worried, should I have kids or not! Just kidding nice post mix of reality and humor both πŸ™‚ Thanks for sharing

    1. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Kids are a beautiful disaster! Completely stressful at times, but make life that much better! πŸ˜‰

  30. I love the theme and the graphics and your post is intersting

  31. Hahaha This is hilarious! Thanks for the post. I don’t have kids, but my nieces and nephews definitely fit this ;D

  32. Very interesting post. Will share with my friends who are new moms to be. Thanks.

  33. Funny I can relate to that for sure, especially laying in a dirty floor. Daily occurrence!!

    1. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ BUT WE LOVE IT! LOL

  34. LOL such an honest post. But at the end of the day I bet you you still love them dearly!

  35. This is funny – I love reading moms’ point of views on how the are experiencing motherhood. It is messy, smelly, annoying journey at times but overall it’s the best thing in this world!

  36. All of these things! We have been traveling a lot recently and I am so sick of packing for two toddlers. The WORST! Super funny and relatable post!

  37. Kids really are the worst! LOL! Thanks for the fun article. Good thing we can’t help but love the little monsters! πŸ™‚

  38. As a mom of 5, I can totally relate! My kids constantly lay on a public floor, or eat off it, or do something gross off of it and I have told them not to at least a million times and WHY! It is mind boggling! Thanks for the laugh.

  39. This is hilarious — and so true! I have a tween and a toddler — so it’s utter chaos at times.

  40. “Raises hand” I totally relate to everything here!! I also have an age gap (13 and 1) and it’s like I have to carry an arsenal of items every time we leave. Thank you for making me giggle today!

  41. This was so funny! I love comedic posts. I can’t relate as I don’t have kids … but I can imagine I would think the same. LOL

  42. Oh do I feel you on all of those! I have 4 kids (8, 6, 5, 3) and you were right on. The smell! like what is it? why is there always a smell? The one I liked the most was the suitcase. I for once just want to go somewhere, and not have to bring a suitcase along with me. the majority of the time, we don’t even ended up using what’s in it, but every time I forget we of course need something.

    1. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Oh my goodness yes!! Too funny.

  43. The 33 pound suitcase is a real struggle! I swear the first time my husband and I went on a trip without our baby I kept thinking “I feel like we are forgetting something… the trunk seems way too empty.”

    1. Lol almost made you feel guilty for a minute, huh?! Lol

  44. Thanks for some laughs. On a road trip now and my god all the stuff to pack!

    1. I’m glad you could relate and I’m not alone! πŸ˜‚

  45. LOL I enjoyed the list! I have two little monsters…a.k.a. loves who are my world, but man they can truly stretch my patience to limits I didn’t know I had. They are both extremely loud, which is crazy to me because I am very quiet. I’m always reminding them to quiet down, but they don’t remember. It goes along with that teaching part. I love teaching them all the new things that they need to understand, but if they could follow through with some of them that would be great πŸ™‚

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